Surrogates

Meeting with surrogates in Kiev

Nest And Co. First Encounters between the surrogates and the NestAndCo. Team

As part of our week in Kiev, we were fortunate enough to be able to spend a day with Daria, Veronica and Olena. For the first time since we have helped to carry out surrogacy programs, we were able to really get to know these women who dedicate 9 months of their lives to help create another (or in some cases two) and to make the dream of becoming a family a reality for many couples.

“These women who dedicate 9 months of their lives to help”

Their first reaction was a smile but they were a little hesitant at first knowing we represent the biological parents of the children they were carrying, maybe we were there to watch them?

However, this was quickly dispelled when they understood that we had come to meet them, to see where and under what conditions the pregnancies and check ups were being monitored because although they are carrying someone else’s child, they are experiencing this pregnancy like their own.

And they care about this pregnancy, they worry about the beating of the hearts, the measurements, the analyses. As they tell us, they worry (even their husbands worry) even more than they did for their own children … It is such a responsibility!

Once we leave the medical centre, Olena and Veronica have some time before they need to get back home. Olena doesn’t need to pick up her 6-year-old daughter for a few hours and Veronica is getting a lift home in the afternoon, so we offer to take them for lunch, in the company of Anya, their support network during the programmel and Alena, that of the intended parents.We make the most of this opportunity to get to know each other better, Veronica is 25 years old, she is a mother of two children and happily married .

Dr Mariana Dvulit

They listen to all the recommendations of their doctor Mariana Dvulit who receives them with kindness, reassures them and gives them her private phone number just in case.

From a financial point of view, this program will change her family’s daily life and will mean they will be able to buy their own apartment, which is a reason shared by many other surrogates. However, Veronica tells us this isn’t the only reason, because she loves being pregnant and if she could afford it, she would have 10 children!

Olena is more reserved, recently separated, her life revolves around her little daughter, who she is now the sole provider for since her split from her dad who returned from the army a changed man.

She also works with children and is a school assistant at the local kindergarten, she shows us photos of the shows, of the yard, of the class and dozens of photos of her daughter.

We ask her how she explained the situation to her and Olena tells us that her daughter understands very well, this baby is not her little sister, but the little girl of a couple who cannot have her without her help.

She loves to touch her belly and feel the baby’s kicks, it’s still amazing what’s going on in there! Olena will also buy an apartment for herself and her daughter and pursue her career working with young children.

When we ask them how their family and friends reacted to them carrying a child for someone else, they answer the same thing, some are delighted (their grandmothers or their children), others prefer to avoid this topic of conversation.

Unfortunately they also experience some hurtful remarks from ignorant people but overall, they are happy and they will change their life in just 9 months while taking the measure of possible risks.

We ask them what they would like to be called, because gestational carrier or surrogate does not suit them! Veronica starts to laugh and tells us that she feels like a nanny because she takes care of the children in her care without ever considering them as her own.

They share the same doubts than the parents

They like our idea of ​​asking intended parents to share a little introduction about themselves because they are worried about who is going to raise the children once their part is over. It becomes apparent that they actually share a lot of things with the intended parents, the same doubts, the same concerns and this serves to further reassure and motivate us to give them the admiration they deserve within this unique and complex project that surrogacy is.

Now they feel more relaxed, they ask us about the parents, who are they, what do they do for a living.

They like our idea of ​​asking intended parents to share a little introduction about themselves because they are worried about who is going to raise the children once their part is over. It becomes apparent that they actually share a lot of things with the intended parents, the same doubts, the same concerns and this serves to further reassure and motivate us to give them the admiration they deserve within this unique and complex project that surrogacy is.

Hélène, Alena, Louise, Anya, Daria